Trump's Satanic Verses— A MAGA Ticket Straight To Hell For You And Your Family

The other night— really more like 4 am— so just before I usually wake up, I was between sleep and woke. I was going through the 10 commandments in my mind. But I only got to 9 and couldn’t get that 10th one out:

• No other Gods before me

• No graven images

• Keep the Sabbath

• Honor your father and mother

• No murdering

• No stealing

• No adultery

• No false testimony

• No coveting

… So what was I missing? And then there was a noise. Not like an Edgar Allan Poe

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

More like a scurrying, like a mouse. I yelled aloud, “God damn it” to scare it away. And ah… that was it: Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.

Last night, when I read that Señor T’s latest scam is selling autographed MAGA Bibles for $59.99, I wondered how many of those commandments he hadn’t broken in a tsunami of life-long breakage. The world’s most adulterous, coveting false testifier? Ummm… maybe he didn’t murder anyone— unless you could the J-6 deaths. And this whole scheme seems to be taking the Lord’s name in vain.

I mean by promoting himself alongside the Bible, Señor T is essentially elevating himself to a position of importance equal to or above that of God, thus violating the very first of the commandments. But he’s not stopping there. While the second commandment— about teh graven images— traditionally pertains to physical idols, it can also be interpreted more broadly to include any actions or representations that detract from the reverence and worship due to God. Using the Bible to promote himself should be seen as a form of idolatry or misrepresentation of God's word. And number three— the one I couldn’t remember? You bet. By associating himself with the Bible and using it for personal gain and self-promotion, Trumpanzee is treating God's name and His word lightly or irreverently, violating three for three. Skip down to the final two— the ones about  bearing false witness and coveting. The bearing false witness commandment is usually interpreted to encompass broader principles of honesty and integrity. Since Señor T is certainly misrepresenting himself and the Bible for his own gain, he’s violating this commandment too. And when it comes to the Trumpiest of all commandments, let’s face it, an unhealthy desire for wealth, power or prestige, etc. is Trump’s primary motivation for selling Bibles alongside self-promotion is to further enrich himself.

As Michael Gold and Maggie Haberman intimated, selling Bibles under his name is no different for him than selling Trump vodka, Trump steaks or Trump university classes. Señor T: “All Americans need a Bible in their home, and I have many. It’s my favorite book. It’s a lot of people’s favorite book… We must make America pray again.”

As he runs for president this year, Trump has framed his campaign as a crusade to defend Christian values from the left. He often makes false or misleading claims that Democrats are persecuting Christians. Last month, he told a religious media convention that Democrats wanted to “tear down crosses.”

His Bible sales pitch comes as he appears to be confronting a significant financial squeeze. With his legal fees growing while he fights four criminal cases and a number of civil lawsuits, Trump is also being required to post a $175 million bond while he appeals his New York civil fraud case— a hefty amount, though one that is significantly smaller than the $454 million penalty imposed in the case.

According to the Bible’s website, Trump’s “name, likeness and image” are being used “under paid license from CIC Ventures LLC.”

The Trump campaign did not immediately respond to questions about the business arrangement. But CIC Ventures is also connected to another product Trump has hawked while campaigning: $399 “Never Surrender” sneakers that he announced at a sneaker convention in Philadelphia last month.

John Pavlovitz took Trump’s blasphemous stunt one step beyond: Excerpts From The Autographed MAGA Bible. I’ll just include a couple for your Wednesday afternoon entertainment:

Insurrections, Chapter 7, verse 10:

"In Gun You Trust: God is small and impotent and cannot protect you. You need to be packin' heat at the grocery store, the little league game, and at church services because the almighty and omnipotent maker of all things might need backup from a perpetually-petrified "good guy with a gun,: heavily armed with supremacist delusions and a jittery disposition.

Ivermectin, Chapter 13, verse 1:

"And the straight, white republican LORD said, 'I am the LORD your God. You shall have no other Gods before me—well, other than America, the flag, the Anthem, guns, Trump, Supreme Court Seats, the Stock Market, Nazis, Proud Boys, and the GOP... but no other Gods, OK?"

The Gospel According to Don, Chapter 14: verses 1-10:

‘And well after midnight, the sweaty, sociopathic prophet of bullies, predators, and bigots rage-posted:

Hear the MAGA Commandments:You shall grab women by the genitalia.You shall declare protesting black NFL players sons of bitches.You shall declare undocumented Mexicans rapists and drug dealers.You shall declare Muslim politicians terrorist sympathizers.You shall call real news, fake— and Fox News, real.You shall ignore every white mass shooter (which is almost all of them.)You shall not see women as equals—even if you are a woman.You shall dehumanize immigrants coming from the South (not the good, European kind.)You shall ignore Science and instead use Donald Trump’s all-caps social media rants to guide your medical opinions.You shall bow down, not to a golden calf— but to an orange jackass.