Three-toed Sloths Against Wolverines

-by Patrick Toomey

I’ve been thinking lately about Hunter S. Thompson, Jr. In particular, I’ve been thinking about his classic Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72. For cognoscenti of the genre, Thompson’s opus had a visceral appeal to it that caught the essence of that campaign and that time. It still resonates 50 years later. While his quote about Ed Muskie, the original 1972 Democratic front-runner was little cruel, it certainly describes where the party establishment is today:

“Sending Muskie against Nixon would have been like sending a three-toed sloth out to seize turf from a wolverine.”

The Democrats have long been incapable of dealing with the likes of Atwater, Gingrich, Rove, et al. on the other side. In 1991, I wrote a column titled “Queensbury Rules in a Streetfight” after Senators Specter, Hatch, and Simpson eviscerated Prof. Hill to put Clarence Thomas on the Court, where he remains today. A senator named “Biden” was the (nominal) Judiciary Chair, and he was ineffective, incoherent, and ultimately incompetent then.

It is only in recent days, however, that the extent to which today’s donkey is overmatched against the MAGA GOP has become so painfully clear. The party that used my profession in my state to steal the 2000 election and that has, as an institution, openly embraced election denialism since 2020 is ready, willing, and able to bear any burden, pay any price, suppress any vote, smear any opponent, and expel any intraparty dissenting voice in order to ensure the survival of its power. In response, we have our president stating tonight:

"There's been anger before in America," Biden says. "There's been division before in America. But we've never given up on the American experiment. We can't do that now. The remarkable thing about American Democracy is this: Just enough of us, on just enough occasions, have chosen not to dismantle Democracy, but to preserve Democracy. We must choose that path again."

"Even in our darkest moments, there are fundamental values and beliefs that unite us as Americans," Biden furthered. "And they must unite us now."

The only thing that unites the GOP now is that they’re going to cut Social Security, cut Medicare, threaten the nation with default, accelerate climate change, make Trump’s tax cuts permanent, stall any Biden nominee, and impeach him in the House if they prevail next week. There ARE no values that unite us with the party of Trump, McConnell, McCarthy, Greene, Jordan, Walker, Mastriano, Oz, Lake, Laxalt, Bolduc and DeSantis. The only thing that SHOULD be uniting us is stopping these people while there’s still time.

Back in 1972, a better political time than the present, Thompson wrote:

“Liberalism itself has failed, and for a pretty good reason. It has been too often compromised by the people who represented it.”

I’m not even sure who represents what passes for “liberalism” these days, but I am certain that they have compromised, capitulated, and conceded beyond the point of failure. Barring a miracle, they will lose the House, they may lose the Senate, and they will face God only knows how many hostile GOP partisans running state elections in 2024. For all the brave talk of overturning Dodd legislatively, the Dems will have to fight like hell to prevent the GOP from enacting a national abortion ban in 2025.

I’ve felt down and out politically many times before— the 1980 GOP sweep comes to mind. This time somehow feels worse, partly because there have been so many similar subsequent failures, and partly because of the apparent lack of any countervailing force now. Again, as per Thompson:

“It was like a scene from the final hours of the Roman Empire: Everywhere you looked, some prominent politician was degrading himself in public.”

Or, as per Yeats, the best lack all conviction, and the worst are full of passionate intensity. What passes for our “best” these days is focusing on recycling outdated national myths and preserving crumbling national institutions. The worst are looking to do to this country roughly what Hurricane Ian did to Sanibel Island. Once again, I bring up Bismarck’s old saw about providence protecting “idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America,” as it may be our best hope now.