Part 5: A Journal Of A Plague Year-- The Lunacy For Which Republicans Stand. "Best Words," Vol. 3.

-by Noah

1. Melania Trump: If, assuming America has, many decades from now, hopefully recovered from the Trump era, there needs to be a sitcom about a rich family of nasty, grifting psychotic, drug-using idiots that moves into the White House and ends up dirt poor, having rightfully suffered total asset seizure and imprisonment for various crimes. The Elly May role will be replaced by a character named Ivanka Will For Sure and Jethro will be replaced by one with a short beard named Cokefiend who has a wife that lives in a padded room in an asylum after she lost her last marbles while speaking at a Republican Party convention. There will be a dead brother named Ereich who was beaten to death in a prison shower by a former congressman from Ohio. The 100 year-old father and former President will wear worn out prison garb and a soiled long red tie that he keeps tripping over much to the amusement of the audience. He will never speak anything but complete gibberish that only fans and family will understand or, through the mechanism of projection, think they understand. The show will have equally unintelligible subtitles. The true leader of the klan will be an outspoken octogenarian brothel owner named Granny Melania who wears her thoughts on t-shirts that say things like "I don't care," "Still #1 Prostitute in Slovenia," and "Fuck Christmas."

Christmas stuff that you know, who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decoration.

And yet they would have you believe that they are saving Christmas from the Democrats. Merry Christmas, Melania, ho, ho, ho.

2. Rudy Giuliani: I know when you think of Rudy you can have a lot of reactions, all of them negative but, do you start flipping off films of him on your TV, curse him out, or laugh derisively? I do all three. I have for decades. My wife even had to put up chicken wire in front of our TV because I kept throwing things. He's funny but not funny. He's America's Clown, an evil clown. He literally personally embodies much of the craziness that flows through the veins of America. He's obviously insane but give Rudy Giuliani credit: he's invented, unwittingly or not, a whole new entertainment art form. That black hair dye or whatever it is that runs down his face while he sweats like that guy that used to be on Saturday Night Live sold me on his act! He is the first Goth Comedian! From Gotham no less. Unfortunately, as he gets worse, he will become the real life Joker. Sooner or later, Trump will realize that there just isn't room for two of them. WWE in the streets of New York for real.

It's way beyond what people think, including a very, very dangerous foreign company that did the votes in 27 states, a company that's not American, a company that's foreign, a company that has close, close ties with Venezuela and therefore China...

Foreign. Foreign. Foreign. Not American. Foreign=Dangerous. Yeah. Got it, Rudy. It's hard to pick just one Ghouliani quote but I decided to go with one that didn't have the word 'fraud' literally spat out 4 or 5 times. I would have felt the need for a second shower today and it's bad enough just saying his name.

3. Mike Lindell, aka The My Pillow Guy: I can't wait 'til something really gross comes out about this assclown, and I don't mean his former crack addiction. You know it's out there. Trump probably knows what it is. What else can explain Lindell's constant fawning over President Psycho? Oh, well yes, total insanity might. Lindell does claim that he got his My Pillow idea in "a dream sent from God." Here's Lindell in an email, grifting for money that the Trump's will just pocket under the guise of needing the money to "keep the democrats from stealing the election."

I will never grow tired of stating that President Trump is the BEST President in American History.

And here, just to make sure we know he's a raving lunatic, is Mr. My Pillow losing it at the December 12th Republican loonfest outside the Supreme Court. He actually thinks even FOX "News" is in on the deal:

This fraud is real. It’s of epic proportions that this election was stolen... They were going for everything. They were going to take everything we had. Why do you think Fox declared Arizona with only 14% of the vote in? They already knew what they did! They were in on it!

"Best President." "Epic proportions." He's one step away from claiming the Cartoon Network was in on it too. It's frightening to think that someone with such impaired judgement probably has a driver's license, and a gas stove in his home. The email this quote came from was sent out on November 29th, long after it became apparent that his idol/master wasn't getting a second term. Damn, I'm sure he was hoping for second and third terms for his daddy, if only to see COVID-19 deaths top 5,000,000 so he could launch a line of MAGA My Body Bags. You know, like "Make Burial Great Again."