by Noah
One of the most important things that I learned while working in the corporate world is that the person at the top sets the tone. That goes both for the whole company and the individual departments within the company. And too often the corporate world takes its lead from the person in the Oval Office of the White House. That person becomes the CEO of CEOs, or, in this case, the boss of bosses. Apparently, that's what happened with the manufacture of vaccines to fight COVID-19. How else can we explain the fact that there was no plan to distribute vaccines to Americans even after they were developed. We had a so-called president whose psychosis and deliberate incompetence did not put us on a wartime footing to not only slow the spread of COVID-19 but get injections into arms. Trump was and always will be a total menace to society. Do not think for a second that the clusterphuck of vaccine distribution was anything but the result of the actions of a man who wanted people to die. He is still the head of a party that hates the very idea of healthcare and his suggestion that Americans inject themselves with whatever they can find under the sink was completely freudian.
With the above in mind, here's my personal tale of woe regarding getting vaccinated: When news of the vaccine being available arrived, I predicted that, like everything else Trump and McConnell had their grubby paws in, it would be a clusterphuck of massive proportions, especially in areas of very large population density like where I live, New York City. I knew that people would be getting shot number one only to be told by their pharmacy three weeks later that there was no remaining inventory in "the back room" for shot number two. I did not want to be one of those. I did not want to be any more of a victim of republican governance and Korporate Amerika than I already was. I decided to wait. Finally, with things looking up a bit and hearing about friends and relatives elsewhere getting their shots, I decided it was time to get mine. I went first to my local CVS where I get my various prescriptions and my annual flu shot. Every week, the answer was the same, one of America's leading pharmacy outlets had no plan to provide COVID shots. After a few weeks, one of the employees casually mentioned that CVS locations outside of the city had shots. So, here I am, in the highest population density place in North America, a place that has been very publicly ravaged by the disease, but, no vaccine. Instead, CVS decided to offer them every place but said highest population density city. Genius. A brilliance worthy of the Trump style if there ever was one and there are, as we all know, a seemingly infinite number. This is Idiocracy thinking. I always say that our corporations have meetings in conference rooms where they look at their stupid formulas and charts and graphs and say, "This is really fucked up. How can we fuck it up some more?" How else is one to explain? Getting a shot was turned into a version of the Carl's Jr. scene from "Idiocracy" meets the Cheeseshop sketch for Monty Python. So, hey, if my CVS is going to let me down, I'll just go down the street to Walgreens/Duane Reade. In I went. I waited my turn and asked the person at the pharmacy counter how a senior citizen like myself signs up for a shot. Easy, I was told. I was handed a flyer and told to go home and apply online. Yep. I couldn't just make an appointment in person like the old days or even at a doctor's office. I had to use their handy-dandy computer software program. There was no way around it. One size fits all. They didn't even ask me if I would be wanting fries with that. OK. I went home. I got to the Walgreens.com site and I got my appointment. There wasn't one available at the one I got the flyer from but I got one at another location 30 blocks away. 1:00 in the afternoon 4 days hence, not ideal, but doable. So, at the appointed time, off I ventured. I walked up to the pharmacy counter and presented myself for my 1:00 injection and was told that not only do they never give shots after 12:30 but they had no shots! But wait, there's more! I was told I had no appointment, and I was told that with some serious attitude. I got the manager and Miss Attitude 2021 went and hid in the back. Anyway, long story short: No shot for me! As I left, the mindless goon at the checkout by the door said, "Have a great day!" In a state of fury, I walked the 30 blocks home and thought about what kind of people I had just been dealing with and what they deserved. Then I wondered, was I just supposed to slip the pharmacist a 20? Is there some sort of secret Walgreens COVID handshake? A password? Silly me, I thought the magic word was "appointment." I'm only half surprised the manager didn't say, "Sorry, we have no shots. Can I interest you in our today's special on band aids?" Anyway, I've since learned that what happened to me was no isolated incident. The New York Times reports that drug stores and various health departments are using computer software programs on their websites that seem to have a built in fuck-up program. Yeah, why would they not? Korporate America at its best, just following the lead from their boy Trump. Only now that he's back at his Mar-a-lago Golf Emporium and Massage Parlor are things changing for the better. The new guy may not be perfect but he doesn't see "Merchant of COVID Death" as his mission, quite the opposite. I was even able to get my shot at a local hospital. There's even money in the COVID relief bill for distribution of the vaccine. What a concept! Fuck Walgreens! Fuck CVS! You can actually go to a hospital and get vaccinated! How bold! How innovative! It was super well-organized! Friendly people who were there to help and wanted to help, too! Now I won't have to organize a bunch of Grey Panthers into a gang that hijack Walgreens delivery trucks and take all their vaccines and syringes. Next time, if there is a next time, I can see vaccines being offered in alleys in rundown neighborhoods. Maybe on ebay at auction, or maybe amazon.com since they sell everything else? How about AMWAY style parties or tupperware parties. This is America, folks. Oh, and the Orange Menace To Society is now trying to take credit, from Mar-a-Lago, for how things are now more or less getting on the right track now. He's like the arsonist who shows up to watch the fire department put out his fire. He'd make a fine Walgreens Employee Of The Month.
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