by Noah
Yes, it's Moscow Mitch's Mini-Me, House Speaker Mike Johnson! Some call Johnson "Maga-Mike" but I won't be for the simple reason that I see no evidence of any real distinction between the traitors the naive among us call "Maga-Republicans" and any other kind of Republican. They all vote the same, ergo they are the same. Only the bottom line matters. For example, this month, House Republicans voted to impeach President Biden and did so after embracing evidence against President Biden from an obvious Russian operative named Alexander Smirnov. Hello!!! And what about aid to Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan? Surely you jest! Speaker Moscow Mike has vowed to prevent that from even coming to a vote. Yeah, there might be a few Repugs that would vote for the aid but only because they know (and hope) it will be voted down. Such uber-cynics live in tight districts and want to throw a bone to their swing voters in hopes of maintaining their seats and positions in the K Street Bribery Lines.
I could have chosen other likely candidates for Putin's award. The aforementioned Moscow Mitch McConnell is way up on the list of most obvious contenders. In fact, he deserves some sort of emeritus status just based on leading the charge to not convict and remove his party's Dear Leader from office so we'd be done with him. Poor Mitchie knows that everything Dear Leader has been able to do or say with his current campaign platform is way due to his efforts on behalf of his master in Moscow. Do I even have to mention that the man Moscow Mitch saved told Putin he should do "whatever he wants" and, voilå, looky there, Alexei Navalny is dead. Yeah, McConnell knows he deserves Putin's award but he'll just have to keep up his competition for it and settle for all the bags of rubles that come his way in the meantime.
Then there's Gym Shower Jordan, the pedo pride of Ohio. There's the impeachment obsessed House Oversight Chairman James Comer of neighboring Kentucky. Kentucky's not sending their best. There's everyone at FOX-PRAVDA. Sean Hannity's probably fuming that he didn't get the award after his maximum efforts at talking up Smirnov. Hell, Sean's a one man Julios and Ethel. Jesse Watters and Hitler Lady Ilsa Ingraham? Same deal. There's the always present Lindsey Graham. I bet Clarence and Ginni Thomas are imploring Harlan Crow to see what he can do. And let's never forget that Tucker Carlson spent a ton of time on Russian State TV the last few weeks, even more than usual. He even interviewed the GOP's Russian god on live TV. Then he came back here (Why we even let him back in should be looked into) singing the praises of life in Russia, marveling at their shopping carts as if we didn't have the same kind, and lying about food prices being lower (Nope! Just do the math.) Traitor Trump himself? He not only got elected with Putin's help, it's obvious he got something in Helsinki, too. He'll be happy to wait a bit. Who else? William Barr has traitor cred. No reason to ever trust him. Judge Aileen Cannon down in third world Flor-i-duh? So many possible contestants! Meanwhile, keep your eyes on Merrick "Slow Walk" Garland.
For the day and week, yes. But his useful idiot of the year HAS to be garland for the 4th year in a row. The DOJ even under trump found that russia and trump colluded; and russia has been doing its all to affect us elections for a decade-ish; yet THIS DOJ refuses to even further investigate, much less prosecute trump or any of his cadre of treasonous insurrectionist murderous criminals.
If any cabinet member SHOULD be impeached, it's merrick garland. But, as always, pussies (the democrap party) always do what pussies always do -- absofuckinglutely nothing.