Midnight Meme Of The Day! The Wrong Man Died

by Noah

Here's President Trump at Saturday's funeral for Pope Francis. God took the wrong man. Damn. I can't imagine why. Works in mysterious ways. That's what people are saying, always, as if that explains both Trump's existence and is at the same time quite like Einstein's grand unified theory of imbecility. God's plan. God's damn plan.

Diaper Don, The Drooling Mouth Open Sleepy Don, was invited because that's the way it is. When you're The Vatican and the most militarily powerful nation on Earth is run by devils, you invite the Devil himself. A protocol of misplaced civility. Or, is he just the chosen one that 77,000,000 Devil worshipers chose as their emissary. No, that's not a question.

That Drooling Sleepy Don was asked to wear black. He didn't. He wore blue. Even the tie. "Hey, don't you have a black suit? You come to a pope's funeral and you don't wear a black suit?" The machine washable hang and dry ones don't come in black? The pope's funeral. Surprised it wasn't gold lame. With a red MAGA propeller beanie.

Original plans for the funeral seating chart called for Trump to be stashed in the third row, near the bathroom. Wonder why. Sitting next to someone who looks vaguely like the former first lady Melania who's either fresh off the milk carton or not there at all. If that's really her, it's the first time Donnie The Human Waste Bucket has slept next to her in a long time, or maybe ever. Damn, think of the post funeral shower she had to take just to get away from the smell. The smell she'll never really escape, even in her dreams. Especially in her dreams. It's psychologically embedded now. Even her dreams of Justin Trudeau.

The smell that none of us will ever get away from until our own funerals.