Nazi Types Sure Do Love Their Flags!
by Noah
Tell the Alitos. Tell Moscow Mitchie! Tell Speaker Mike the porn inspector Johnson and all the rest! There's a new freakflag just for their kind! A distress flag of their very own! They don't have to share it with anyone! What's more Republican than that? Now that the party of Nazis, MAGAs, Rabid Misogynists, Domestic Terrorists, Book Burners, and other Putin worshipers have all engaged in a massive communal freakout of their Dear Leader's convictions, it was only a matter of time, seconds really, that they would come up with a new flag to fly at their homes and Christian Nationalist coup planning prayer meetings. Well, here it is! Sure, some of the Trump freaks may feel a little disconcerted at first about flying the face of their Dearest One upside down, but, c'mon, all you folksies and fuckheads, he's in distress, you're in distress, he loves flags, you love flags. Don't worry about him getting dizzy. What difference would that make?
And for you federal judge types out there, this flag makes a swell subversive judicial robe, doesn't it? Be sure to wear it with your Trump Cons-Sta-Flo Diapers™ and a nice pair of those gold Trump sneakers with the special extra-strength, odor-absorbing orange orthotics! I bet "Chief Justice" John Roberts and every member of his family already has a pair or two of those sneaks already lined up under their beds. Oh, and don't worry, Republicans, this new Trump Distress Flag™ comes in sheet and hood form, too, complete with a nice extra long Red Trip-Me Tie™ and all available in child's sizes. Be sure to begin their new school year of indoctrination in proper homeschool attire!
Now, here's a thought you can have fun with: I wonder if Republicans know that they can publicly protest the existence of LGBTQ+ people by flying an upside down LGBTQ+ rainbow flag on their front lawns or from their porches. Maybe even an upside down decal on their cars, too! Be sure to subtly let your scared shitless bigoted neighbors know! Tell them, if they want to protest "The Gay," that sideways works too! Don't worry, they'll never figure it out.
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