by Noah
A Special Edition Of Sunday Thoughts Presented By The RNC:
Dateline: The Republican Mind
At the stroke of midnight, Republican Party Chairnazi Ronna Romney McDaniel, sounding strangely like a certain voice from "The Exorcist," announced her formation of a special "GOP Greeting & Indoctrination Committee" for the party's 2024 convention.
Romney's statement reads as follows:
As You know, how we present ourselves to our voters is of supreme importance. Therefore, we feel it is important that when our delegates come to our convention they are met by people that look, speak, and act just like them; people they can therefore relate to in every way. Thus, you can see the people I have chosen in the photo that accompanies this announcement. We at the RNC headquarters, also pictured, have complete confidence that those I have selected are the very best our party has to offer and will not only give the right impression of what we stand for and what we desire our party to continue to be but also offer substantial assurances that we firmly believe our party can take the country to the time and place we wish it to be in, a time and place where the scourge of vaccines does not yet exist, a time and place where we can not only still buy and own African slaves but a time and place where they of course enjoy the benefits of our dominance, a time and place where there are no gay and/or trans people, and, frankly, just a time and place where everybody knows their place and surnames that end in a vowel are kept at a minimum.
After reading her press release, Romney's head spun around 3 times and then settled at 180 degrees around and she drifted, partially backwards, into the dark cloud from which she had come leaving only an aroma combo of sulphur and subway urine.
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