by Noah
Dear Republicans, You want a Voter I.D. law? Be careful what you wish for 'cause I got your voter I.D. right here. Here's an idea I can get behind: Be Responsible. No VAX, No VOTE! No VAX, No VOTE! Some people see getting vaccinated to end this plague as a duty and responsibility. Some people see the blood-earned privilege of voting as a duty and responsibility. Let me be a little extra facetious and ask why not combine the two? It's the patriotic thing to do, no? I know Republicans are all about increasing human misery whenever possible but is this idea too complex for the Republican Mind? Yeah, probably. This idea even saves on government spending. Why print new cards when responsible citizens already have this one. This and proof of citizenship and legal registration should be all we need in order to vote. Yeah, I'd like to add an IQ test to the mix but that's even more unlikely than the Vax card actually becoming your voter I.D. And, why have the big bad government force us to stuff another, separate voter I.D. card in our wallets, right? We already have to carry around enough cards!
Meanwhile, the Republikooks are always yapping about giving everyone the same voter I.D., right? Well, everyone who's been vaccinated has a nice little vax card that, name aside, pretty much looks like anyone else's nice little vax card. It even has your own fingerprints all over it for super easy verification! I can envision a scenario where we just flash it under a magic scanner light at the voting precinct and we're good to go! Hell, we can even call this The Vaccine Voting Machine Passport VVMP for short! Throw in an extraneous Q and the repug goonies will love it! VVMPQ! It's Q endorsed! That's the ticket! Or is that just too many letters for a typical maga nut to remember? Yeah, I know the repugs fear the idea of a vaccine passport but if they also get their long sought voter I.D. well... Besides, let's just say that I like the idea of calling their bluff and trolling them at the same time. I know, of course this concept might require a larger fingerprint database but I can't wait to hear about Republicans all over the country reacting to that idea by removing their fingerprints with a power sander or, better yet, dipping their fingertips in acid! I can't wait to watch "Ted" Cruz, Hannity, Hawley, and all the rest of the loon buffoons get all apocalyptic over this!
Sure this is a somewhat flawed idea but if it drives republicans up a wall, I'm for it! The more games we can play with their badly limited critical thinking-challenged minds the better! Want to troll the Repugs even more? Just tell them that if you've been vaccinated twice, you get to vote twice and that's why Democrats rushed to be the first in line when the Pfizer and Moderna shots became available! And the Republikooks will believe you, too, since they've given ample evidence that they'll believe anything, anything at all, no matter how preposterous! Then to cap it off and drive the point home, tell them that the percentage of democrats getting vaccinated is, to date, much larger than the percentage of their fellow Repugs getting vaccinated. Just sit back and watch the waves of paranoia creeping across their faces! Now that's what I call entertainment!
In fact, we can spread a whole additional conspiracy to these wacko conspiracy addicts about how that was always "The Plan" behind what they love to call "The Plandemic." Republicans always do love conspiracy theories, just not Critical Race Theories! Next we can ship only the one shot J&J vaccine to the deepest red areas. Tell Republicans they only get to vote once if they get the J&J and they'll be begging for a second shot instead of not wanting any shot at all. Give it to them. There's plenty to go around! Then tell them Biden is secretly giving, at Obama's direction of course, a 3rd "booster" shot to all African-Americans and you know what that means! Watch the whole damn Repug Party explode!
No VAX, No VOTE! Making America Great Again indeed!
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