She Has A Right To Remain Silent
by Noah
Two members of The Diaper Don's family never attended his just concluded election interference trial. The ones that did, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, only did so after a couple of weeks of their absence being repeatedly noted. Command performance? You decide. Often the fact that other prominent defendants in American history, people such as Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy had supportive family at their trials was brought up. Next thing we knew was that several of The Diaper Don's cult leaders took time off from Congress and came to the trial. They came at taxpayer expense and in full cult uniform of blue suit and red tie. I didn't see any golden clown shoes in the pictures of this Republican performance art but that was likely only an issue of camera angle.
Most notably neither Diaper Don's daughter Ivanka, son Barron, or current wife Melania showed up. We'll never know if wife #1, Ivana, would have come or not. She stayed put at tacky Trump's Bedminster, NJ estate and golf emporium after an untimely fall down the stairs in her own home. Wife #2, actress-model-presenter Marla Maples, has not been heard from lately. Best words or not, some people are saying that she may be in some sort of self-imposed witness protection program, or not.
In any event, we wait. Also, or not. Perhaps Melania is checking out some new housing possibilities in Crimea but let's cut her some slack. Perhaps she's just too busy ripping up rose gardens and tomato patches, or, maybe she's just shopping for some new gowns and stilettos for the GOP convention in July. Could be she's having more work done on her kidneys, too.
Daughter Ivanka, you ask? She had just four words on Instagram for Diaper Daddy. See below!
Your Saturday Cartoon was preempted this morning for obvious reasons. It'll be back, real soon. Believe me. That I can tell you!
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