by Noah
And yet I've gone decades, decades without a war. The first president to do it for that long a period.
- Donald Trump, disgraced former occupant of the White House as he announced his candidacy for 2024.
And the crowd cheered! The Russians cheered! FOX "News" cheered! And, yeah, my inbox immediately began to fill up with Republican emails spreading the joyous news and asking for cash to support a lunatic that thinks he was president for decades!
Well, here we go again: The patriarch of America's #1 Freakshow Family is running for president again. Not only that but millions of Republican zombies are rejoicing, setting up bigger and better versions of their patented "Death Threat Phone Banks" and preparing for more nutjob truck and boat parades. Meanwhile, Don Jr, is laying in a 10 year supply of nose candy to cover himself for the next 2 years and modeling agencies are being combed for women that can perform as doubles for Melania on a moments notice when she just doesn't feel up to the charade. I imagine the Trumps have a closet, by now, of fake Melanias just like Superman had a closet full of Superman robots that he could activate in an emergency.
Can't we just put the whole damn family on an iceberg and send them on their way like a genuinely civilized society would do? Hell, let a couple of hungry polar bear families have at 'em and be done with it. Do we really need network TV cameras beaming this shit into our homes again 24 hours a day again? Make it stop! Make it STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, next up will be an endless cast of would be replacements: Little Hitler DeSantis, Chris Christie, Mittens Romney, the shell-shocked, catatonic Mike Pence, "Ted" Cruz, Closet Boy Graham, Kristi the Noem, Kanye Yeast or whatever his name is. The whole damn Kardashian family! Tucker Tiki Torch, Tommy Tubbervile, some Proud Boy, the Pillow Loon, Elon Musk, that bubblehead from Wisconsin, maybe that "And the Iraq such as" beauty queen girl from South Carolina. She must be old enough now! How about Kyle Rittenhouse's mom? She's a Republican hero. My god how the standard has been lowered and lowered! And there'll be a whole assortment of goons and freaks we've never even heard of yet. Maybe, Ronna Romney McDaniel herself will throw herself into the ring.
... and why is this guy even viable? why did we elect this guy? for fucksakes, we had a choice of that guy and fucking biden?!?!?
why can't we find another FDR or Lincoln?
oh yeah. our only two parties that we can EVER have wouldn't have either one of them ever again. so we vote for whomever our two beloved parties tell us to vote for.