by Noah
Personally, I don't spend a lot of time in city parks. About 40 years ago, I just got tired of people always coming up to me and trying to sell me something. It's always suspect food, drugs, religion, or themselves. Now, it's even crackpot politics, aka, Republicanism. Sorry, but I'm just not into the latest missives from Q.
But what would I do, if I was in a park and the scenario depicted in tonight's meme happened? I have to tell you, at first I had no idea and I'm the one who created the meme. I know, if the creature shown appeared rabid or suffering from syphilis (either or both is very likely), I'd back away, slowly but ready for anything. If it got too close and started to ooze that black shit it's known for? Well, let's just say that it would never walk upright again or have use of its forelegs either.
But then the remedy came to me. Clear as day! No matter where they are, parks are full of raccoons, thousands of them per every square mile. They're prolific breeders to say the least. The females live in a state of almost permanent heat. So, I'd find a relatively safe way to tie this creature to a somewhat out of the way tree, stuff its pockets full of some nice sandwiches and fruits, trap a female raccoon that was sure to go into heat just from the aggravation and let her crawl all over him pulling the food from his pockets and leaving her pheromones sprayed on him from toes to head. I'd do it just before nightfall.
Say goodnight, Rudy.
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