by Noah
The big plagues of medieval times were transmitted from town to town by infected fleas on rats. Now, with COVID-19 and its variants, who needs rats when we have creatures like Flor-i-duh's Governor Ron DeSantis who sees himself in a competition to be the Domestic Terror Party's Number 1 Johnny Appleseed of COVID-19 and whatever variants of it he can help brew.
Florida hospitals are now setting new records for numbers of COVID cases and the state's Governor Ron DeSantis is busy raising his finger into the COVID breeze and staking his claim of "We're #1!" fully on behalf of his backward state. DeSantis is the most psychopathic governor in the country, doing his best to beat out South Dakota's Kristi Noem, Missouri's Mike Parson, and the rest of the political serial killers. That's Republican governance, folks! No amount of COVID cases, no amount of COVID deaths, is too much and that's just the kind of thing that gets the Republican base cheering.
DeSantis, often known as DeathSantis, has declared that all cruise ships, aka floating viral petri dishes, sailing out of Florida cannot mandate that passengers be vaccinated. That's the mark of a true total psycho! What could go wrong when cruise ships are already notorious incubators? Personally, if it was up to me and I owned a cruise ship company, I'd be very tempted at this point to give away free COVID Cruises to all republicans who can prove party affiliation and will swear they've not been vaccinated. Then, watch them sail off and let nature take its course. The only question I'd have is how to protect the crew.
In his latest pro-COVID move, DeSantis has also issued an executive order banning all schools from issuing mask mandates and threatened to "Defund The Schools" who do. What a shocker, republicans have found another way to "Defund Education!" Not enough dead kids from school shootings, eh Ron? Why don't you just fill the school hallways with some of your 10 or 15 foot alligators? I can see it now: DeSantis "Demands Alligator Hall Monitor Program! Death! Death! Death!" Right Ron? Put those gators to work! What's the matter, Ron? Jealous of the Zodiac Killer? Not to worry, Ron. You've already left him in the dust.
Meanwhile, DeathSantis is making money selling Anti-Fauci shirts to his fellow Republican nutcases. He's raising money for a presidential run. What's on the horizon, Ron? Anti-Polio vaccine shirts? GOP street barkers handing out vials of smallpox? Anything to make a buck for the RNC, right?
Now back to those plague-carrying rats for a minute: I know a lot of people say just let all these pro-COVID anti-vax a-holes die. Yeah, I know. Watch them shaking and dying in the gutter, soiling themselves and clutching their dirty little red MAGA hats. Problem is they're all carriers exactly like those medieval rats. They're all proud incubators of new variants to come. They're all infecting us all. Can Pfizer keep up with the yearly booster shots that will be required? The MAGA Variant, formerly known as "Delta," is just the beginning. Thanks to these humanity-hating psychos, we're headed towards ever more lethal variants, all promoted by FOX "News" Newsmax, WND, and AON of course. The day is coming where we will have another MAGA variant that shows no symptoms until the carrier just collapses dead without a warning or symptom.
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