Sunday Thoughts
by Noah
Yeah, that rapture thing! Can we have it now? How about we just dispense with the big battle in the so-called "holy land" and just have Mr. Jaysus come in his big UFO and beam up all the so-called Christians and fly them away to Pluto or, better yet, Jupiter. Yeah definitely Jupiter since it's almost nothing but dense gas and hot air. It belches all day and all night, too. Perfect for any Repug. Bet it smells real nice, too, just like Trump.
And can we have it before voting starts this fall. Now that would be what I call election rigging! What would Republicans call it if Jesus did it?
According to the bestest experts who speak directly to their god, the rapture will take only about 1200 of the purest wackos to heaven. Won't even make a dent in just the 250 million self-IDing christians in THIS shithole. If they were gone, you'd never even notice.
even jesus doesn't give a flying yoctofuck about elections. he is heir to the throne in a KINGDOM. Nobody gets elected to nuthin in heaven.