Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Texas: The Third World!

Poor $enator John Cornyn! He tries so hard to be recognized as the biggest jackass in Texass. but, the competition is very stiff and no matter how hard he tries, he will always be overshadowed by "Ted" Cruz. Cruz is as synonymous with Texas as sunstroke and religious nuttery. When you ask most people to name a Texas $enator, maybe, maaayybe one in a hundred will come up with Cornyn's name. On top of that, there's more competition in the form of the human excretion known as Texas Governor Greg Abbott and the lunatic of lunatics, Lt. Governor Dan Patrick! So, what's a 100% total assclown with zero redeeming social value like John Cornyn to do?

Well, Cornyn really bit off more Texass cud than he could chew when, not so long ago, he launched himself into a campaign of attacking California for its failures to provide a consistently reliable power supply. What's that about people who live in glass houses? Cornyn attempted to make himself a one man Chamber of Commerce brochure by touting what he "thought" was his state's power grid as second to none. It was "We don't need no stinkin' regulations. Come to Texas" time. In Cornyn's bizarro mind (as well as the minds of the other fine examples of knuckle-dragging Homo Erectus that I mentioned), the voltage never stops. Ya just turn it on, leave it alone, and it runs and runs and runs! As you can see, he called it "The promise of electricity." Promises made-Promises not kept. Common sense ignored and derided.

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, stashing acorns and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

You see, a thing called winter showed up and Texas, a state run by obsessively fanatical deregulating Republican nincompoopers for years and years now, just wasn't at all prepared. Don't worry, those knuckle-dragging, tree-swingin' ape men that I've mentioned in this post are just fine. In fact, they're keeping themselves warm under the lights of TV studios as they run to the cameras and microphones to blame their state's massive failure to even provide the basic need of electricity on the non-existent "Green new deal" and windmills. Yep, to republicans, windmills don't just cause cancer, they and other renewable energy sources caused the state's power grid to fail even though renewables only provide 10% of the state's power supply, if that. Besides, the power source isn't the issue. The issue is the lack of planning and the war on those damn, pesky regulations that would have safeguarded the Texas power supply from the odd quirks of nature called cold, ice, and snow. Texas fears the regulations involved in sensible power supply plans so much that Texas isn't even a part of either the United States Eastern power grid or the country's Western power grid. Now, way too many Texans are toughing it out with temperatures inside their homes that are matching the temperatures outside. Texans went their own way. This is exactly what the brilliant voters of Texass voted for. It's yet another form of human misery provided by Republican governance. Texas has made itself a wonderfully isolated and unregulated paradise. What could go wrong? Now Texans are trying to survive in their cars and republican politicians like Mayor Tim Boyd of Colorado City, Texas are saying things like this-

Turns out ol' Mayor Timmy got hisself run out of town on a rail; run out by citizens who are having to burn their furniture and fences for heat. I'll guess that they might be regretting their vote but, will they learn? I doubt it. Oh, and other Texas officials like ol' Timmy are telling their citizens to boil their water. That would be a swell idea if the water hadn't stopped running due to there being no power. What a bunch of stone effing geniuses! This woman is smarter than all of 'em combined: