by Noah
A sucker born every minute.
The Orange Pestilence is still flogging his hats like an Old West magic elixir salesman with a covered wagon full of 'em. This week, he's signing them. I can't wait to see him on Newsmax TV or AON selling the complete line, including shoes with lifts and old bottles of Trump Wine. He might even have the autographed Trump Kneepads-
Worn by William Barr! And these, worn by Stephen Miller! And these, worn by Lindsey Graham, and these worn by Iv... er, yeah, Sean Hannity. Oh, and this pair. Who wore this pair Mike? Oh that's right, Lou Dobbs. You know that guy's got no teeth, Mike? Oh, you do? That's right. Anyway, if you act now and buy two or more sets of Trump MAGA kneepads, I'll throw in... an extra MAGA hat. How's that for a deal? They make great gifts, don't they Mike? Here, Mike, put this stuff on! Walk around!
I'm still getting the emails. From the whole grifting family. 10 a day, easily. They're still pleading for money "to defend the election, "to overturn the results," "to stop the steal," and it's like mega church pastors selling blessings and a place at the front of the line at the pearly gates. Trump is siphoning so much money away from the suckers now that those pastors are gonna be furious. They're going to be dying from envy. Very, very little money actually does go to "defend the election" of course. It never did. It's not going to Georgia either. It's going right into the Orange Pestilence's pants pockets. It's what he does. It's what he's always done.
Using math-n-shit, I have figured that america's voters (154 million this cycle) represent a sucker born every minute for 331 years. Since america is only 244 years old, clearly, in america there are multiple suckers born every minute.
Using a life span of 75 years (downward vector at present for the first time in the last century. look it up), it represents just under 4 suckers born every minute.
I have been seeing a lot of commercials for the 'trumpy bear', a teddy bear with a bad combover. I'm positive they're made in china, like the hate. I don't know how much they nick you for one. but it ruins the teddy bear forever. Poor Radar O'Reilly.