Midnight Meme Of The Day! Looks Like Trump's Been Sniffin' His Sharpies Again!

One In Each Nostril Seems Likely

by Noah

As you know, Putin's favorite president now wants to change the name of the Gulf Of Mexico to the Gulf Of America, cause, you know, Mexico just sounds so brown-ish. If you're naive enough to doubt that reason, just ask yourself why he says we need immigrants from uber-white Norway but not the south of the border places. At the same time, Trumpie The One Man Crimewave wants to make Canada our 51st state but not Puerto Rico or Washington, DC which have had a push for statehood for decades. American Samoa, or Guam? Like Puerto Rico and Washington, they are chock full of the dreaded "brown people" that Republicans fear and hate and they also have non-voting "representation" in the so-called House of Representatives but I doubt that Trump has ever heard of either place. The picture is plain to see and it's all being backed up by the KKK types I see on Social Media, and you can also assume that Elon "Mr. Apartheid" Musk is whispering in Trump's ear about this whole thing. Go back to Africa, Elon!

So, would our frontal lobe challenged soon to be President Freakshow try to continue his renaming jihad once in office? Sure he would, hence the map of the western hemisphere you see above. Besides, if he renames everything America, it will be much easier for him to remember, no grasping for words, no additional reaching for his sharpie or anything like that, right?

But now I have to wonder if Trump has considered renaming states with brown connoting names, too. What will he want us to be calling places like New Mexico, Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, and Texas? Then there's the states whose names have a Native American origin. You know, like Alabama, Missouri, Oklahoma, the Dakotas... Louisiana's safe, I guess. That's French. France is quite white, and Louis was a king! A king! Perfect, except that will inspire him to want to rename this whole country after himself. Maryland? That's royalty, too. Nice white European royalty. Named after a queen. Just keep it the same and put Lindsey Graham in charge. New York? New Jersey? New Hampshire? Hey, like several others, there's no need to change those names! Ah, but what of Idaho? There are apocryphal tales about the name's origin, but no proof. Idaho. Idaho. There's even a city there named Moscow, so Republicans love that! But what to rename the whole state of Idaho? Idaho? C'mon! There's only one choice! Melania!!!!!