Karma's A Bitch For George Santos
The last we had heard of George Santos was that he was giving up his fake comeback bid in the district next door and was instead starting a $29.99/month Only Fans page, presumably for chubby chasers into botoxed-up drag queens. Santos wasn’t invited to the GOP convention in Milwaukee but he fell for a satirical tweet: “BREAKING: An executive of the gay dating app Grindr says the Republican National Convention is ‘basically Grindr’s Super Bowl,’” implying that the party convention was— as it has been in the past— crawling with Republican closet queens looking for humpy toilets.
Santos didn’t get decked out in any of his fabulous Kitara Ravache outfits but he did make a video for Twitter, presumably for people who see him as a role model: “So Grindr executives are calling the RNC convention the Grindr Super Bowl. Folks, look; I’m openly gay, no qualms about it, proud conservative Republican. I met my husband on Grindr and we’ve been together for 6 years, going on seven, married for almost three! Let me tell you something: Just come out the closet, boys! Come on, it’s fun! You can be gay and conservative. But, look, Grindr’s always outing you anyways based on the hits. And guess who’s in town? It’s all you conservatives. Bye!”
But with Santos there is never a forever “bye,” just a pause ’til the next piece of the ceiling falls on his head— which, in this case, was Friday. That was when U.S. District Judge Joanna Seybert rejected spurious motions to dismiss 3 of his 23 charges, including two counts of aggravated identity theft and one count of theft of public money. Santos, who has been begging for a plea deal— one that won’t include prison time— stole his own campaign donors’ identities and used their credit cards to rack up thousands of dollars in unauthorized charges (including botox treatments and OnlyFans for sessions), in addition to fattening his own personal bank account. Two of his former staffers are cooperating with the state and will give devastating testimony against him.
ABC News reported include “two counts of wire fraud, two counts of making materially false statements to the Federal Election Commission, two counts of falsifying records submitted to obstruct the FEC, two counts of aggravated identity theft and one count of access device fraud, according to the United States Attorney's Office in the Eastern District of New York. The trial itself blasts off in September and the New York is doing everything it can to effectuate a deal so that the trial isn’t in the headlines and the nightly news at the same time as the election is.
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