“Do You Condemn Palestinian Terrorism?” --A Guest Post By Dr. Abdelfattah Abusrour

Media Journalists, TV interviews come to us, pointing fingers at us and asking this endless question: Do you condemn Palestinian terrorism? Do you condemn Hamas?

So let’s deal with that

I do condemn myself. I condemn my all existence

I condemn my own birth in a refugee camp in my own country… How dare I to be a refugee burdening you of questioning your humanity

I condemn my own birth for a being a Palestinian, while according to many Palestine does not exist

I condemn my parents, who were uprooted from their destroyed villages and brought me to life in a refugee camp

I condemn my own life, growing up, get an education, had hopes and dreams to be a great biologist and researcher who will save lives… being an amazing painter and marvelous photographer and fantastic actor and talented writer who will inspire the whole world… I didn’t really get famous in anything I have done

I condemn myself, for claiming and continuing to claim that I am a human being, that I defend my humanity and dignity and those of others… it seems that I am only a human animal, or even less… that I am an alien who imagine that he has a place on this earth … How do I dare to even think that I am a human being like all of you….

I condemn myself of being a believer that human rights and values include us aliens…. How dare I think that we are even part of these values?

I condemn myself believing in international law and UN resolutions and all these declarations that: People under occupation have the legitimate right to resist by ALL MEANS. How dare I consider that we are under occupation even under an illegal entity that is represented as the only democracy in the Middle East. I ask for your forgiveness

I condemn myself for talking about this occupation as an entity. I read that what defines a state is to have: Constitution, defined borders, and Nationality…. And since what you call a state of I S R A E L doesn’t have until today a constitution, defined borders even though they voted the law of Nationality that this is a country for Jew only…. But apparently you can just claim yourself as a state without any of these things… So please forgive my ignorance….

What can I say… I am so ignorant

I believed that a victim of rape has the right to defend her/himself… but it seems that I am confused… I didn’t understand that we should praise the rapist and condemn the victim if she/he dares to resist… that she/he should enjoy the rape and reclaim more of it….

I believed that standing with the oppressed was the natural thing to do...Again more confused because I really should never identify with other oppressed people. There is only one oppressed entity in the world and no other.

I should praise Israeli oppressing the so-called Palestinians… and teach them who they are and what is their worth in they eyes of international community…. That their lives worth 0.

So

World!

I am really sorry

I didn’t realize I was misled and misinformed

Should I apologize?

I deeply apologize

World!

I apologize to you all

My deepest apologies

My parents told me that you should support the oppressed and prevent the oppressors from continuing their oppression

I apologize

I was told that I should support the evil Black South Africans against the kind white apartheid system that was designed to humanize them

I apologize

I was told to support the savage indigenous natives Americans again these marvelous white clonizers who came to civilize them, and red them from the burden of their lands and properties

I was told to support the retarded aborigines of Australia by these amazing white British civilized colonizers who came to cultivate them and give them a long lasting break out of history

I apologize

I was told to support the terrorist Vietnamese against the highly civilized colonizers … French or Americans who knew better how to exploit the colonized countries and domesticate its inhabitants

I apologize

I was told to support Indians in India, Irish, Scottish,

South Americans

Cubans

Spanish and Italians against the dictatorships and fascists

Germans and Europeans against the Nazis

Arabs against British and French colonization’s

Palestinians against British and Zionist occupation

I even was told to support Ukrainians against Russians…

My parents even talked about the poor miserable Jews who were coming to Palestine in the 1900s… and they would pity them and help them with food and other things in early times…

I apologize

I was told to support the resistance of the oppressed against the oppressor

I didn’t know about the international law and human rights

I didn’t know that all of this was wrong and that it is just a lie that suits some and not others

Therefore

World,

Let me condemn myself and apologize more and more

I condemn myself for being who I am

I apologize that I am Palestinian… That I was born in a country that my parents called Palestine….

I apologize that I was born in a refugee camp… in my own country and couldn’t forget the villages of my parents that were destroyed in October 1948

I apologize for not having blond hair and blue eyes…. Even though some of my cousins do have blond hair and green or blue eyes

I apologize that I still identify myself as Palestinian despite being mostly denied that nationality

I apologize that I still call my country Palestine even though it has been defragmented into disconnected pieces… and still can’t manage to forget

I apologize for not being able to forget that I am still a refugee in my own country

That I didn’t throw away this old rusty key for my parents’ house in their destroyed village

I condemn my stubborn reclamation of my right to return to my parents destroyed villages

How dare I do that? How dare all these stubborn Palestinian refugees reclaim that right of return? We are so blind that we can’t even see the facts on the ground even after 75 years of the creation of the only democracy in the middle east

I condemn my parents who raised me with "If you are consumed with hatred, you lose your humanity?" How dare they not to teach me how to hate?

I condemn every act of resistance against injustice oppression, occupation? How dare the oppressed defy the oppressor?

I condemn every victim of rape, to resist the rapist. Can’t you just open your legs and accept it? How dare you refuse the pleasures of rape?

I condemn the killing of every terrorist state system… oppressors should have carte blanche to continue their oppression without accountability

I condemn these Palestinian and their supporters…. Why they just can’t shut up and accept that this illegal occupation is the only super power in the region and it is a racist act to resist

I really apologize for all of you that I couldn’t just co-exist with the oppression… and accept that I should enjoy torture, oppression and humiliation… some people enjoy this… why couldn’t I?

I apologize for not accepting the exile of my brother, the imprisonment of my brothers, cousins, nephews, neighbors and so many others… I didn’t realize that it was for their own good, and that they were better in prisons or exile than being outside under the sun…

I apologize for my stupidity? I couldn’t understand your human rights and international law. I thought I was part of you and not a human animal? I apologize for my ignorance… I even don’t understand how one can be human animal? I thought there are humans, and there are animals, even though some of these animals are more human that so called humans?

I apologize, I am really confused….

I saw how you supported those resistances like Ukraine and cheering for those freedom fighters…. And how heroic these children that were trained to resist the Russians and thought that was normal…. I am really stupid and apologize for my stupidity… I guess I should also condemn Ukrainian resistance…

I promise, I shall celebrate apartheid…. I shall celebrate violation of human rights and values

I shall praise all oppressors and occupiers, and dictators

I should praise all rapists to continue their rape

I should praise all liars and manipulators for their distortion of facts and truth

I am really sorry I have failed all these failures…. Really sorry that I still couldn’t figure out how to co-exist with these double standards… how to co-exist with occupation, oppression, dehumanization and be happy about it?

Do you have special training? I am happy to join…. Or perhaps you can join me and wear my skin and show me how can I be the good pet that you can domesticate?

Or should I just say, no thank you… I pass

I can never accept your dictations and blackmailing

I can never except for the oppressed to get used of oppression and co-exist with oppressors as long as oppression continues

We will not forget…. We will remember

We will not forget the silence, the hypocrisy, the dictations and blackmailing

We will not forget those who raised their voice and stood with what is just and what is right

We will not forget anything

You can continue to push for despair and we will continue to flourish with hope

You can continue to promote death… we will continue to promote life

You will continue to do your worst… we will continue to do our best.

Abdelfattah Abusrour,

October 14th, 2023

-----

Dr. Abusrour directs the Alrowwad Cultural & Arts Society in the Aida refugee camp in Bethlehem.